I wanted my own fairytale.
My own happy ending.

Think I'm daydreaming too much. Haha.

Haven't updated for hell now. Now that it's finally the weekends, I shall just post a bit here.

A levels started. Last week was crazy. Every single day I've a paper. Really killed my brain cells.

Left with 4 more papers. Then it's finally freedom.


Nothing much happen though. Like just study study study.
& yeah, a few quarrels here and there. Plus something big (to me not to him) happened but apparently he thinks it's no big deal so be it. He doesn't know how it feels anyway.

Shrugs.
It's a vicious cycle -shakes head-

Finally it feels like the heavy load is off my heart.
I'm glad for what we are now, just as friends. Cause at least now I know, you'd be there for me if I need you and at least you are someone I can turn to(:


Least I don't have to feel so tied down by emotional issues anymore and really concentrate on A levels already.
Am so really tired right now but I guess I have to push on? Gah.
Dizzy spells and running a temperature doesn't exactly help though.

Waiting for baby to come over for dinner now.
Yawns, it's a boring day. Hate dizzy spells. It's getting more and more frequent this year alone.

Hello!

And so, I'm back.
Yup, I promised baby that I'll blog here today, and so I'm here.
Nothing much to write though, but I'll just have to try.

Past few days have been pretty bad, but I'm glad that things are sort of clearing up.
:D

Hmm, let's talk about today.
Even though school's officially over for us to study for the A's, we had to go back to school today for the GP mock paper. Seriously, I totally screwed it up. It's held in the stupid LT where I just can't focus. Plus there's some sort of static sound in the background which really pisses me off. And I was so so tired from watching TV late till 3+ the previous night. Haha.

Then I had GP consolidation afterwards from 1-4pm. Was supposed to go, but I didn't, because I overslept. Geez. I was sleeping outside the library and slept past 1pm. -.-

Baby's being a bad girl now and watching Bleach and not studying for her Math mock paper tomorrow. Bad girl!

Heh. And I'm correct, I didn't teach the wrong thing. Ms Ling is wrong. Hahaha.

"Meet you at 7 Choco Street"

Straight after my mum came into my room, holding up the bag and say,"All expire already, throw them away, cannot use already", I cried.
I typed an email to you but saved it under drafts.
I just kept crying. I didn't know. But it's just that it hurts so much.

You've moved on. You always did, no matter what happens, you'd just look towards the better tomorrow.

You gave me those, to light up my room when it was dark, when I was scared, when I was lonely and you couldn't be there. There's one hanging by my bedside now, keeping me company but it still isn't you afterall.

Wish you'd talk to me, tell me what to do. At least, just be friends.
To be friends, you'd get hurt.
To be strangers, I'd get hurt.
Either way, it just doesn't work out.

Why do I miss you so much? Till now, I still wish to feel your cold hands once more. At least to know you're still there, or maybe at least you still care?

Memories of you and I are just flashing by. The ferris wheel, Sentosa, the potatoes, the time you 'swallowed' the ring, the time you came back for me, psp, basketball courts, deodorant smell, trainings, neoprints, competitions, army, kfc meals, book out nights, weekends, everything else.



It really doesn't help at all. The light. Cause even with the light keeping me company, I'm still feeling so scared and lonely.

Wasted. No more.

Vivid dream that seemed so real. So much that it clenched my heart and immersed me in the pain I thought was long gone. & just thinking about the dream later on in the day sent tears welling up in my eyes.
It's the you, before and now.
What I remembered most about you, your arms.
The arms that kept me safe from everything.
Your cold clammy hands with long fingers intertwined with mine.
The veins showing through you arm as usual.
The skinny but muscular arms I always lay on to sleep.
Desperately hoping, for you to hear me, to see me, to notice me.
But of course, it's futile. I was in a bus, you were outside.
Like how we are now. A glass preventing any communications.
An ending that never happened.
So much to say, it's really my greatest regret. An endless ending.
I wished, I told you everything when you were still willing to listen.
Now it's too late.
A million things I want to say to you, I want you to know, I want you to realise, I want you to listen.
A million emotions, thoughts, feelings, truth all locked up away. I've often found myself wishing for one more chance.

Remember me asking you, 'If time could turn back, would you choose the same path you took?'
I would, but I'd make it all right this time. If only...


Thank goodness for my Big Sister and best friend. Texting me and encouraging me to stay strong and move on. Really am thankful to have them.

Heart-to heart talk with Jeff yesterday made me feel better. Esp when I've been feeling so bad for neglecting him due to A's.
Sitting at the staircase late at night just drinking away and talking made me feel so much better. Made him feel better too I hope. We could have talked till morning and I wouldn't mind just one bit but of course, my parents would have tons to say about that.

Shawnny boy telling me to work hard and not to give up and he's always there for me to hear my complaints and emo things. Other than the fact he's always pestering me to webcam, he's one helluva friend.

FC calling me out of the blue to say he believes in me and to stay strong. Couldn't be a better time honestly. He just cut me short when I told him how scared I was and he told me that I can do it and not give up and that's all I needed to think about. There are so many things I want to say, want to do, want to let loose. Not now, now's not the time. FOCUS SHUJUN, FOCUS!

But there are also things, I'll never get to say ever again ):

Let's play a simple game shall we?
See how much longer you can keep lying to me, hurting my feelings and giving me false hope.
And let's see how much longer I will keep my mouth shut about it till one day, you know what will happen.

Let's just wait and see shall we? It's a game with the bomb ticking.
Tick tock tick tock.

I can tell you the status right now.
I'm fucking sick and tired.

Hope you are happy about this.

Haven't updated this space for a really reallly long time. Well, first things first.

HAPPY 14TH MONTHSARY BABY! (:

Heh, didn't actually planned to meet up today but decided otherwise and baby left house only at about 5.45pm to come over to have dinner with me :D
OH NO! ): I just realised we didn't get to light any laterns. Gah):

Anyway, think baby and I really do the silliest things ever. We just sit there playing childhood hand games, lie down beside each other staring at the ceiling and talking rubbish. It doesn't need to be a romantic candle lit dinner whatsoever. Just spending time with each other is more than enough <3

It's just one more month to A levels. Might not have the energy to update here often. Really, no energy. Everyday once I'm done showering, I'm so tired I just slump into bed after my hair dries and sleep till next morning wake up and go school again.

Really tired. Just one more month.
Give me some encouragement. I really need them.
Especially when my prelim grades are so shit.

Some people are so fucking desperate they ought to just get lost from the face of this earth.

People beware if this email address adds you on msn. Fucking cb despo pervert.

angelhearts01@hotmail.com

Fake person, fake fb account with no friends, no blog. and it (I won't even refer to IT as a human) uses the same old questions to everyone. Cb. Pissing me off.

Just google the email address and you'll find it has been disturbing tons of people, from as early as May 2008.

As of now, I'm the only girl who seemed to have been added. All the others are ALL GUYS. Wtf. Which part of my email add does she not understand it's a GIRL? -.-

Figured she mistook me for a guy so just played along till I got fed up cause it is fucking desperate.


The conv:

‌‌ says:
who are you?

emotional.. says:
sharon here
can chat?

‌‌ says:
oh do i know you personally?

emotional.. says:
nope
just make frens lo
can ma?

‌‌ says:
oh okay. cause i thought you were someone i know but dont rmb.

emotional.. says:
u open minded?

‌‌ says:
in what sense?

emotional.. says:
can chat open topics?
kinda bored

‌‌ says:
but wait, ur name's sharon? your fb accnt puts angel though.

emotional.. says:
angel is jus a nick

‌‌ says:
ohh okay
can chat la. but i will reply a bit lag. studying also. yup.

emotional.. says:
u naughty kinda guy?

‌‌ says:
watcha mean? oh how did you get my email?

emotional.. says:
u got do before?

‌‌ says:
before i answer, i'd like to know how you got my email.

emotional.. says:
tink from fb ba
sry
‌‌
says:
oh its okay. but i'd prefer not to talk about anything personal.

emotional.. says:
so u nv do before ar?

‌‌ says:
no comments. i dont wish to talk about anything personal. broad topics are okay. not personal things.



At least random ppl first thing hi i want to know you what's your name or something la.
This animal cb come piss me off.
I'm seriously in a fucked up mood now cause of these kinda people. So frigging despo.
Get a life la.
Best, it thinks I'm a guy. Loser.

Sharon (no offence to the other Sharons I know) my ass la. Knn, fb write ANGEL TAN HUI LING. Still dare say nickname.

I'm really in a pissy mood right now and best friend's trying to calm me down. Haha wth.
Where is boyfriend when I need him? Nowhere ):

Really tired right now ):
Baby's 18th is today. Alarm rang at 6am (almost like normal school time T_T), woke up at 6.30am, went to shower and prepare to leave at 8am. One of the very very rare times I'd wear make up (other times it's just eyeliner at most and that's all) cause baby specially requested for me to wear.

Early morning tio nagged by parents. Monday morning first thing they kbkb. Left the house in such a pissed mood. Cabbed to baby's house cause I seriously had a lot of things to carry. My bag (with lit notes to revise -.-), 1 big bag with baby's present, another big bag with this mega huge box (approx 18cm width x 35cm length x 35cm height) filled with more of his presents and one bag with his birthday cake in it.

So if you see me it'll be like I'm struggling with all these bags that even getting into the cab was hard cause I had so many big bags and the driver was staring at me -.-

Reached baby's house, spammed photos, cut cake sing song. Oh, no wait, it's sing song cut cake.





The wind helped him blow the candles. Look at his face, so retarded xD


Birthday boy making a wish :D






CUT CAKE!



The opening presents time :D Heh, the birthday boy enjoyed this the most.


18 presents in total.



1) Birthday Cake - My masterpiece :D




2) Tickets to watch 'JUMP' @ Esplanade.




3) Birthday card




4) Donut Cushion




5) Black 3/4 Sleeve Formal Shirt








6) Pink Short Sleeve Formal Shirt






7) Ralph Lauren Black and White Stripes Polo






8) Black Backpack





9) Chocolates




10) Crotchet Heart key-chain/handphone strap
11) Crotchet Safety Cone key-chain/handphone strap
12) Crotchet Ice Cream key-chain/handphone strap




13)Mushroom Touch Lamp






14) Face towel




15) Facial Wash




16) Mystery Envelope




17)White Bermudas






18) Brown Blazer/Jacket






Excuse our big faces. Heh.

Slept for awhile (poor birthday boy had to sleep on the floor=/ given this kinda case, should the birthday boy sacrifice or the female gender sacrifice? hmm.) before leaving for pepper lunch at AMK Hub.


How to eat salad the 'Eugene Lim Way':

1) Poke the veggie and pick it up.



2) Dip it into the salad cream.



3) Eat it.





That's for talking while taking photos at the same time.

After lunch, walked about here and there then headed back to his house. Then had KFC delivery for dinner. After dinner, slacked a bit more before heading home.

Frigging sleepy now.
Hope the birthday boy had hell of a time (: Someone's FINALLY 18 :D
Love you!

TEEHEEHEEEHEE!

HAPPY 18th DEAREST!
Okay not as though you can receive my sms right now cause your ph's outta batt.
And not as though you can read this right now cause you ain't home.

But whatever. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D

I love you. Seeing you in a few hours' time <3

FINALLY I'M DOWN TO THE LAST PAPER :D
Like finally.
After one whole week of 3 hours paper EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Omg, I nearly died I tell you.

But finally, down to the last prelim paper.
THEN CHIONG ALL THE WAY TO A's and then....

FREEDOM! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Hahaha, omg I'm already making plans like when to go out, who to go out with, etc.
And I can finally stop procrastinating and meet up with all my sexy babes and hot hunks (:

Few names and faces already popping up in my mind. Heh, can't wait.

Like I'm meeting FC on the (shit I forgot what date) of Dec. He applied for leave on that day already so I'll be spending the whole day with him catching up :D

Made an agreement with Kenneth PohPoh that we are to meet at least once a week to enjoy good food, good company, good fun and many more good stuff!

Agreed with DDL love to meet up once my A's are over:D

And promised Rafidah my virgin experience in clubbing shall be given to her (okay sounds wrong but meh)

And a lot a lot more esp with baby love :D

Anyway, went out yesterday with baby and my family.
Cabbed down to visit my aunt who's down with lung cancer with my mum and baby.
Then cabbed to meet my dad and bro to eat at some Jap restaurant as a pre-celebration for baby's 18th:D



Heh, then shopped at uh, idk where too lazy to rmb, and home sweet home!
Baked baby's birthday cake, HEEHEEHEEHEE.
And decorated it. MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Okay, it's really bad. Don't ask =X

Anyway, that sums it all up. What I plan/planning/planned to do.
Ciao. Baby's 18th coming right up!<3

Had a blast with baby yesterday.
We went out to watch JUMP @ Esplanade.
His first birthday surprise/present out of 18 presents I got for him :D
Most expensive seats right in front of the stage.





Guess who was sitting at the row in front of us?
Zoe Tay and her husband and kid. Not bad eh?

The show was really good. Baby was laughing so loudly -.-








Peektures then. Baby was so fed up with me cause I refused to change my clothes and dress up nicely. Heh.




Wanna see what my shirt says? =P


Haha, designed this shirt myself (it's way before the slogan tees of similar captions came out) and finally I've decided to wear it out after so long.



At the start of the show, managed to get a few shots of the old man cause he was mingling with the audience as part of the show. Hilarious.








Anyway, got their autographs (lucky few to get into line cause only a limited number of people are allowed to queue) after the show and get their pictures too! Well, not taking pictures with them soooo..... heh.







That little boy was so excited cause it's his first time ever queuing up for an autograph session. Aww.

And... Introducing you, the cast!


GRANDFATHER!


FATHER!


MOTHER!


DAUGHTER!


SON-IN-LAW!
(he's kinda cute and I think sam/ting would love him. He looks bad in here cause being worn out after the performance but if you see the photo in the booklet, he's really kinda cute!)


UNCLE!


THIEF #1


THIEF #2


OLD MAN!



Met sammy for awhile before she headed to Suntec. Well apparently she walked of so far front we lost here by the time we reached Suntec. So baby and I went to eat dinner instead.
Jack's Place. Steak. Shiok.

With my parents, I always have to eat medium well done or the least is medium but since they are not here, heh, i opted for medium rare. Damn tasty! Baby opted for medium well though cause I don't know why he likes tough steak o.O

After dinner, we walked out of the restaurant and guess who did we meet?
Mr. Teo Sze Wei (my OGL teacher-in-charge; baby's math teacher)
HAHAHAHAH okay nevermind.

Off to study lit.
Hope you had a blast of a time baby, I love you (:

Finally have the time to blog. I wonder where's Sam. She's mia-ed for the past 4 days already.

Anyway, Saturday was suppose to have study session with Sam but I couldn't contact her at all=/ In the end just studied with baby and had lunch/dinner with him.

Sunday, had tuition then headed out with baby.
Went to ECP with his family and cycled for two hours then had dinner there. Good time spent with him and his family (: Though butt pain for sitting on the bike for two hours -.-





Don't mind the messy hair. Heh, baby's hair so short!


Dinner time!


His fingers look short and stubby here o.O



Monday I overslept and I was shit shit shit.
Had lessons at 8am (sucks I know considering it's Sept holidays). Sunday night I only slept about 3.30am cause was studying and I figured I'd oversleep so I prepared everything beforehand in case of last minute rush.

And boy am I glad I prepared. Woke up at 7.15am instead of 6.30am and reached school just 5mins past 8am. At least better than Jeremy who left house earlier and came much later than me. Haha.

After lessons, just headed out with baby to study.

FC's been surprisingly nice to me. He's been constantly texting me and he even called me last night to chat for over an hour. Okay, not really chat. It's mostly me listening to him tell me police stories and how ridiculous his job is. It's so funny I tell you. But yea, he's been surprisingly nice -.-

I wonder what's up with Shawn though. He seems depressed these days and I do hope he is okay ):

Plus Aks who thank goodness I have him or I'll go mad. He specially came online like past midnight just for me cause I was like crying/fuming mad and he was trying to calm me down.

Tell me where can you get a best friend like that?:D (minus the fact some times he's so ridiculous I feel like kicking him xD)